We skipped a season of basketball because we went to Michigan and the most amazing thing happened. While we were gone, the league decided to stop keeping score!!!! Can you believe that? There are no scores now at the games. I kept looking at the scoreboard because my kids ROCKED THE COURT, yet there were no scores. I finally asked someone.
"Is the scoreboard broken?"
"Oh, no. We don't keep score anymore for this age group."
Sarah scored three baskets. She is the best boy on the entire team. I was so proud of her I almost passed out. Austin got his very first basket ever in a game. You should have seen the look on his face. It was total satisfaction and achievement. Day after day after day in our driveway has paid off. Gregory made two baskets also. We lost nearly every game last time and we FINALLY get on a winning team and they stopped keeping score.
I'll bring a goddamn clipboard and keep score myself, then I'll hold it up and show all the losers that we are kicking their butts. I'm being dead serious when I say, why even have games then? Why not just run around and go directly to snack time?
I blame this on Pinterest.
I'm telling you, I know I'm sounding like a geriatric, but I fear for this generation of kids. This is the first generation of kids growing up with parents who were raised in the Self Esteem Movement. I can barely talk to people under 30 without "hurting their feelings", so I can only imagine how messed up this next generation will be when you can't keep score at games for fear of exluding someone.
I've got news for you. Some of you suck at sports. Nobody ever told you because they didn't want to hurt your feelings, so when you weren't drafted into the NBA, you turned to drugs to take away the disappointment that you are a failure at basketball.
But you are special. You are a special flower, just like your parents. Now open up that gift bag and get that snack, Billy. This is your special day. You lost and WE WON. Okay? I'm keeping score.